Couples Therapy
Struggling to connect is a lonely feeling.
You’ve been struggling in your relationship for a long time and even wonder, “Will we make it?”
Arguments start over small things; before you know it, they’ve spiraled, and you’re in that familiar place of despair and confusion about how you became so disconnected from each other.
Your attempts to express your needs and feel closer to your partner ends with you feeling further away than before. You feel stuck in this endless cycle.
Anger and resentment build because the person likely to understand your needs and with whom you want to feel the safest and most comfortable understands you the least, causing you to feel so alone.
Feeling desperate and all alone.
John and Serena found trying to get through the day without fighting was a significant struggle. It was hard to see things from the other’s perspective and they became stuck in a rut.
Serena felt constantly dissatisfied with the quality of connection and was often angry and yelling; John felt that no matter what he’d do, it was never good enough.
John got used to blocking her out and the more he walled himself off, the more Serena felt desperate. She would rage to get his attention and it only made things WORSE.
They decided to get help.
When they saw how much their conflicts were affecting their kids, they finally agreed they needed help. John and Serena began a couples therapy journey that was a game changer for their relationship.
They understood that behind the yelling and stonewalling was just two hurt people feeling alone with the questions: Do I matter to you? Will you ever meet my needs? Will I feel alone forever? Am I too much? Am I not enough?
They were able to see that their unmet needs and expectations since having kids had gotten them stuck in this viscious cycle. They were both overwhelmed by the stresses of family life and did not have enough help.
What they witnessed in their own families growing up left them with some unhealthy relationship patterns that were getting played out, without realizing it.
Breaking the cycle.
Through couples therapy, John and Serena were able work together in a safe space to share their deeper feelings and get to the root of the problem.
Instead of balming and pointing the finger they were able to take accountability for their own actions and stop keeing score with each other.
Finally they could have the hard and honest conversations that brought them closer together instead of leaving them farther apart.
*The story of John and Serena is a fictionalized composite of real clients whom we’ve helped.
California Relationship Clinic can help.
We help couples with a variety of issues:
Getting back on track after having kids…
Healing from addiction…
Recovering from affairs….
Deciding whether to stay together or break up…
Different parenting styles…
Healing from addiction…
Non-existent sex life…
Criticism and resentment…
Using the highly research-based modality, EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy), our therapists will help you learn:
- Tools to break the negative cycle that keeps you stuck
- How to deal with hurt feelings in a way that leaves you feeling closer and more connected
- How to send clear signals to each other for a more efficient way of getting needs met.
Our therapists will also facilitate life-changing experiential relationship exercises you can use together for a maintaining your connection at home, for years to come.
No matter your struggles, couples therapy can help you gain insight, reduce conflict, meet each other’s needs, and learn how to keep your romance going, even when you don’t have time!
If you’re tired of going round in circles, you have come to the right place.
Call today for a free consultation, and let’s start working to get you back on track.